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Valerie

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(no subject) [Sep. 13th, 2015|12:13 am]
Valerie
[Current Mood |blankblank]
[Current Music |徐佳慧 : 回到那時候 ]

無意間聽到這首歌..
歌詞完完全全在訴說著我和你的故事..


怎麼讓我遇見了你
笑容還是很美麗
輕輕的 問候語
變得陌生又親近
好像只有 一步的距離

那年我們都太年輕
如今感覺都好可惜
有些事 錯過了
一輩子都回不去
想著過去 我責怪著自己

如果回到那時候 我會拉住你手
不會讓這份遺憾 沒有挽留藉口
如果時間能重頭 我不會再讓你走
多年以後 也就不會難受

也許我們都捨不得
也許已經到最後
請答應我 你要好好地過

如果回到那時候 我會拉住你手
不會讓這份遺憾 沒有挽留藉口
如果時間能重頭 我會這樣對你說
在我心中 你是我最愛的人

聽完整首歌...
尤其是

"
那年我們都太年輕
如今感覺都好可惜
有些事 錯過了
一輩子都回不去
想著過去 我責怪著自己

如果回到那時候 我會拉住你手
不會讓這份遺憾 沒有挽留藉口
如果時間能重頭 我不會再讓你走
多年以後 也就不會難受"

如果.. 一切有如果...

但是我發現一件事..
我聽完整首歌.. 我竟然哭不出來..

是放下了.. 還是放棄了?
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ㄩㄢˊ ㄌㄧㄤˋ ㄨㄛˇ [Aug. 22nd, 2015|11:21 pm]
Valerie
[Current Music |Come Slowly - Girls Day]

以為已經慢慢淡忘.
以為我可以走出來..

原來我還沒有.
是妄想也好,
幻想也罷..

原以為和你.. 或許會有一絲絲的機會..
但或許.. 這麼多年下來, 我們始終沒變化.

這或許也意味著.. 我們並不是對方的另一伴.

一陣子沒想到這情況..
卻在一個無意識的談話被撩起了回憶..

我和你說過: "我們.. 也許是彼此對的人, 但總是在錯的時間喜歡上對方."

我知道你已經走出我給你的框框..
我也知道我該走出來了...

我也以為我走出來了,
可以把這份感情忘掉了..

原來, 只是一點點的提起,
我還是會去想, 會去在意.

你進入大學, 會遇到一個值得你對待的女生..
到時候.. 我應該可以用祝福的心態去祝福你..

原諒我.. 現在沒辦法..
原諒我.. 現在還是對你.. 有感覺..

但是我知道..
一定在某一天..
對你的感情..
會變..

現在, 我只是好後悔..
為什麼當時, 不把握你..

정말 안돼 내게 돌아와주면
정말 안돼 다시 사랑해주면
우리 좋았었잖아 행복했었잖아
그 때로 다시 우리 돌아갈 순 없겠지
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新的一年 [Jan. 2nd, 2015|09:52 pm]
Valerie
[Current Music |分開以後 - FS]

2015年, 你好.

2014年, 再見.

新的一年裡, 我不敢期許自己會變得多好.
我只要求自己比之前過得更好, 就算至進步1%,我也開心.
因為代表了, 我放下過去的回憶和不堪.

我不期許自己會變得更開心, 或快樂.
我只希望自己笑容多一點,

我不期許自己會變得更聰明.
我只希望自己會在說話之前, 用腦袋想一下.

我不期許自己懂得愛人.
我只希望自己會敞開心胸去接受每個人.

我不期許自己會投入一段感情, 雖然偶爾會想.
但, 我希望自己用著心來看待人.

2015年, 你好.
請好好善待我.

img_vki3PnmD2K

用著黃鴻升的這張照片, 和自己說:

2014年, 再見.
過去的, 我不留.
LinkLeave a comment

生氣 [Aug. 24th, 2014|10:02 pm]
Valerie
[Current Mood |angryangry]
[Current Music |眼淚知道 - 溫嵐]

上班到現在.. 好多事都在變...
4年來, 從兼職到全職.. 看透好多事.

4年前覺得你人好好, 對我照顧有佳, 什麼事都有商量..
4年後覺得你變了. 是職位的提升改變了嗎? 還是你認為我們太熟了, 所以連基本的尊重都沒有?

你工作上對我們的不滿, 的要求, 我們都儘量去完成.
因為是工作.
因為你是我們的直屬上司.
因為你是校長.

可是, 為什麼當你坐上更高的職位時, 你連我們的休息時間也要控制.
星期五晚上不讓我們可以有自己的休暇時間.
隨時都要等候你的指示.
我們是老師, 不是你們的行政下屬.

學校假期..本來6周給孩子的假期, 你曾經說過只需要在第一周的假期和最後一周回中心工作. 剩下的時間OTOT
後來你改口, 說只要沒有出國, 就得回去上班.
到現在, 從兩周的假期扣到一周, 只因為你想快點獲得第二次的認可.
因為中心的認可度, 你就要摧毀我們的休息時間?

平是讓你來壓榨我們的工作環境, 工作時間我們已經是逆來順受了.
現在連我們的假期你也要摧毀?

不只如此, 你在這間中心也呆了6年.
你也知道每當教師節都會只上半天的班 (打從我開始兼職到全職都是如此)
可是為什麼這次, 在會議上當新校長說出今年教師節半天時, 被其他校長打搶時, 你一句話都不說?!
為什麼連我們應該有的休息時間都沒有?

你為什麼連我們的休息都要剝奪?

平時5.15pm就該下班的我們, 沒有一次是準時下班的.
而你就拍拍屁股走人.

打定我們6.30還在公司, 就打來公司說落下東西, 要同事拿去你家給你.
為什麼有車的你, 不能自己駕車過來拿?
為什麼當同事說要出去時, 你的語氣是反對的?

你沒有休息時間, 不代表我們沒有!!!
你要知道你的住處和公司有一大段距離.
駕車過來會比我們搭地鐵來得快!

然後我們就自告奮勇, 幫同事拿過去給你.
卻聽到你說教師節晚宴我們得做在會場外頭, 和委員會一起坐.

說你怕其他中心會投訴.
說你知道我們不會說什麼?
說會補償我們.

哈哈, 你只是不知道我們在背後說了什麼.
哈哈, 補償? 哈哈哈哈.
你真的不知道我們要的是什麼.

我們現在只想要我們的假期.
我們現在只想快點逃離你的管轄.

知不知道現在的我們, 進出辦公室多麼輕鬆自在.
知不知到現在的我們, 不用擔心會遇見到你.
知不知到現在的我們, 在沒有你的中心多麼得快樂.

知不知道看不到你, 我們一點壓力都沒有.
知不知道聽不到你, 我們一點壓力都沒有.
知不知道你的一切, 只是壓力.

我們要的只是教導孩子的樂趣.
我們要的只是看到孩子的快樂.

你所要我們做的, 只是剝奪了這些的一切
你所要我們做的, 只是剝削了我們的興趣.

你的工作範圍應該沒有我們了.
所以, 可不可以高抬貴手放過我們?
所以, 可不可以不要在管我們?
所以, 可不可以不要在給我們壓力?

我! 只! 想! 要! 我! 們! 的! 假! 期!
我! 只! 想! 要! 我! 們! 的! 休! 息! 時! 間!
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Vent [Jul. 7th, 2014|09:49 pm]
Valerie
[Current Mood |calmcalm]

It's been a long since I wrote anything.
I know nobody will read and it's just dead.
I would just want to treat this place as a venting place from now onwards.

Whatever that I met, that I encountered of which I felt that are pissing me off, prolly I will write them all down.

I just need a place to vent.
I just need a place to rant.

This place seemed good.
That is if i remember.
That is if this place allows.

No word limit
No hard feelings
No judging

Most importantly, no one cares. 
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(no subject) [Apr. 20th, 2013|02:09 pm]
Valerie
[Current Mood |coldcold]

After 5 months.
I dreamed about you for the first time.

I thought I had already let go. No?

And I hugged you in my dream.

What is this? 
LinkLeave a comment

Probably [Dec. 27th, 2012|10:34 pm]
Valerie
[Current Mood |confusedconfused]

4 months since i've last blogged. 
things changed and moods differ. 

well, i can only wish for the best for you...

i guess this has got to be the most peaceful breakup yet heart-wrenching. 
oh wells. i guess i need time?
but the duration for me to recover, i have no idea. 

i guess, you might be recovering? 
but still hope that you are doing great,
and even if we met during any functions or events, it won't be too awkward on us. 
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

really have the feel to study overseas and probably just stay there and not come back to singapore. 
Probably i would. Probably. 
i have no idea. 
oh wells. 
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Thoughts [Aug. 8th, 2012|11:45 pm]
Valerie
[Current Mood |thoughtfulthoughtful]

The idea of focusing on children with special needs had already been lingering in my head ever since I started my internship on February. Taking care of Max during the two hours had brought me different experiences. This, then brought me thinking. Ever since I joined Pinnacle 2 years ago, I had been dealing with children with special needs and somehow, I really feel proud and happy when achievements were made. It's like the children were really close to me, especially Max. Seeing him while I played/talked to him, really gave me the sense of accomplishment. 

This time round, another child was seen to be of that category and again, I found out that I will tend to pay more attention to him and he is also close to me. He isn't diagnosed with any condition but he just seems to be. Of course, it could just be our doubts. But through such, i really wonder and thought about it. 

Should I focus on children with special needs instead? Especially children with autism...
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(no subject) [Jul. 30th, 2012|10:07 pm]
Valerie
說我是靠關係的道這份工作的. 

靠關係. 哼. 

我, 原來在你得心目中, 我是這樣的人. 

對嗎, 老 師?
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Disappointed [Jul. 17th, 2012|11:58 pm]
Valerie
[Current Mood |crankycranky]

I really lost all my respect towards the two of you. 

I thought people that are older will be more mature than the younger ones but as a matter of fact, i'm wrong. 
Not only they are not mature, but they are even more childish and hot-headed. 
_____________________________________________________________________

Person A:

I thought things had already subsided and since we haven't been talking or interacting for months, thought maybe somehow things might have changed. but hell no. to think that event can lead to an insult from you and to those people. omg. you're seriously horrible. even girls had already so-called forgiven you but you, as a guy, as an adult, still harp onto the matter and claimed all credits? 
I was actually thankful for you concerning about my family when things happened but when this came into the picture, all the thankfulness and stuffs vanished. 
I can't believe such things still happen and please, look at things straight. it's already over and please don't harp on it. please stop thinking that we had all these and it's because of you. you're the one who still harp on it despite saying you didn't. how ironic is that?
for goodness sake, let it go. 
_____________________________________________________________________

Person B: 

For goodness sake, please stop thinking that everybody is against you. as a matter of fact, you're against your ownself, you're contradicting yourself. please stop thinking that everybody hates you, it will only make people really hate you. and please, open your eyes wide. they are your close juniors, what makes you have the rights to talk about them like this? all the more because you're their close senior, you should not and cannot talk about them like this. when you talk about them like this, have you ever thought about them? have you ever think whether they had talk about you like this before? with all the crude words and insult?
I don't mind you regarding me as a bitch, because i regard you as one too. what i mind is you viewing your closest juniors like this. How degrading is that? Please stop thinking that you're such a failure. i'm sure that with that almighty brain of yours, you can jolly well understand that the more you think that you're failure, you really is a failure. and since you like to cry so much, have you ever thought about getting a pail with you ever you go and collect your tears? so as to do the plants a good deed and water them? oh gosh. 
oh and please stop making yourself as the victim and us as the devils. this is so unfair for us. 
_____________________________________________________________________

& to the other two, i really regret knowing you. i really regret having you as my friends. i didn't know that you two are so two-faced. did i mention how much i hate people being so two-faced? yes, i really hate the both of you. don't ask me why, but i do. i really do. and the hatred goes to the guy. & yes, i still can't get over the fact that you pushed everything away just by saying "oh, i forget everything". this just shows something, you are a coward. for not wanting to accept my criticism. 
_____________________________________________________________________

all this sucks. i admit my temper hasn't been going well lately and i have no idea why. can i push everything and said it's because of those incidents? to think i trusted them so much before, but we get in return? nothing but betrayal. 
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